Friday, December 08, 2006

Lament for Betty Crocker

I have friends who love "slam poetry." I am not so fond of it. They told me I'd like it better if I ever tried to write it, and I decided to believe them. Here, then, is my first attempt. When you read it, you should read it loud and fast and emphasize every single word that seems like it might enjoying being emphasized--in other words, all the nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Verbs, however, should be read with particular aggression.

Middle America has swallowed the brownie mix powder,
anti-caking agents cake
on my windshield.
Boys like that always
burn the batter,
too busy badgering the world with their
jazzy-jazz doo-dah,
The kitchen is a mess
and I am fresh out of oven cleaner
because the Cuban woman
who used to clean up
has run away and joined
a mambo beat